Lenny on-line

A typical day Medical history fleas, ticks,leg,balls off and ear ops What I like The owners Condition Owner testimonials Home
A typical day 06:30 During the week the alarm clock explodes at 6:30am. Darren gets up, usually calls me a lazy BEEP and wanders off to the toilet. I don't get up straight away. Instead, I wait until he's made the tea and has sat down to eat his breakfast. Then I get up. This annoys him - my intent. He has to come up stairs and and carry me down. Yes, that's right, I don't do stairs! Well, I can, but as far as they are concerned I can't climb stairs. This rates very high in the annoyance league. I then go out in the garden and relieve myself. To gain access back in I bark. This is usually the first of the day and doesn't cause too much of a stir. It's still an annoyance as he has to stop eating and come and let me in. Deb is up and around and sorts me out a few bits n pieces to eat. A few chocky buttons, strip of chewy meat, typical second rate animal crap. I trot around in a pretentious manner showing some sort of enthusiasm. If I don't the treats may stop! After I've woofed these down I head for scooby, my squeaky toy. I then annoy someone till they decide to lob it up the hallway for me to fetch. I don't really enjoy this but at least it annoys the thrower. 07:15 I am at the hall door waiting for the papers to drop through the letter box. I particularly enjoy this so I'm shaking all over , hoping to be first through the door and shred the papers. There are three big annoyances here. The first is me barking at the door. The second, if I can get to them before anyone else, is shredding the papers before they are read. The third is the fact that they had to spend money on a erecting a second door, solely to stop me getting to the letter box - nice one Lenny. 07:30 Off they go to work. I now hunt out each room for things they have left around that I can chew and destroy. Or if I'm particularly hungry, I'll hold it in my mouth until Beryl offers me a bribe, usually in the way of a slice of bread. I now jump up onto the sofa and sleep. Not for long, though. Every movement or sound I detect outside the house gets the full chorus of my voice - annoying. Beryl continually says "Be quiet", in her best Mrs Bucket voice. I of course ignore her. This barking carries on 24 hours. It's not a part time thing - I must be as annoying as possible! Some time during the day I go out for a walk. Normally over the cemetary. If there's a funeral going on and I'm with Beryl, we stand and watch for ages. If I'm with Leanne(they call me her brother - sheash!)we have a brisk walk, no stopping. But, with Beryl I get to roll in other dogs crap. She thinks I've found a clean patch of grass that's taken my interest - wrong! It's sweet smelling crap. The kind I like, and yes, it annoys the hell out of them. Also while on the walk I crap too, generally 3 times. First one is good and solid. Second is looser. The third is liquid, and runs down the cheeks of my butt. Now for the good bit. When we get home they have to wipe my butt clean. A cracking annoyance. 17:00 Round 2 with the papers. Yep, same thing. I tremble like an idiot on top of a washing machine waiting for the drop. They drop and I battle it out with someone to get them first. 17:10 ish They come home from work. They great me and I at least look happy about it. But really, all I want is what they have brought with them, which is normally nothing! More sleep. Some time in the evening Darren takes me out. He's a moody git. Sometimes it's a long walk. Sometimes a trip around the block. 99 times out of a 100 he'll buy a couple of cans of beer while we're out. And yes, another walk means more crapping. More crapping means more arse wiping. More annoyance. Bed time As we know, I don't do stairs. So one of them has to carry me up. Annoyance. 03:00 ish I wake up a little chilly, make enough noise to wake Darren up. He knows I want to get up on the bed. I know he's gonna tell me to shut the %$^& up and lay down. I grin to myself, lay down and sleep. 04:00 ish I wake up a little chilly, make enough noise to wake Darren up. He knows I want to get up on the bed. I know he's gonna tell me to shut the BEEP up and lay down you BEEP. I grin to myself, lay down and sleep. 05:00 ish I wake up a little chilly. Now I no he's weakened enough to let me on the bed. And I know he's gonna tell me to shut the BEEP up and lay down you BEEP. I don't. He lifts me on the bed. Annoyance. 06:30

A typical day

Medical history fleas, ticks,leg,balls off and ear ops

What I like

The owners

Condition

Owner testimonials

Home

A typical day

06:30

During the week the alarm clock explodes at 6:30am. Darren gets up, usually calls me a lazy BEEP and wanders off to the toilet.
I don't get up straight away. Instead, I wait until he's made the tea and has sat down to eat his breakfast. Then I get up. This annoys him - my intent. He has to come up stairs and and carry me down. Yes, that's right, I don't do stairs! Well, I can, but as far as they are concerned I can't climb stairs. This rates very high in the annoyance league.

I then go out in the garden and relieve myself. To gain access back in I bark. This is usually the first of the day and doesn't cause too much of a stir. It's still an annoyance as he has to stop eating and come and let me in.

Deb is up and around and sorts me out a few bits n pieces to eat. A few chocky buttons, strip of chewy meat, typical second rate animal crap. I trot around in a pretentious manner showing some sort of enthusiasm. If I don't the treats may stop!

After I've woofed these down I head for scooby, my squeaky toy. I then annoy someone till they decide to lob it up the hallway for me to fetch. I don't really enjoy this but at least it annoys the thrower.

07:15

I am at the hall door waiting for the papers to drop through the letter box. I particularly enjoy this so I'm shaking all over , hoping to be first through the door and shred the papers. There are three big annoyances here. The first is me barking at the door. The second, if I can get to them before anyone else, is shredding the papers before they are read. The third is the fact that they had to spend money on a erecting a second door, solely to stop me getting to the letter box - nice one Lenny.

07:30

Off they go to work. I now hunt out each room for things they have left around that I can chew and destroy. Or if I'm particularly hungry, I'll hold it in my mouth until Beryl offers me a bribe, usually in the way of a slice of bread.

I now jump up onto the sofa and sleep. Not for long, though. Every movement or sound I detect outside the house gets the full chorus of my voice - annoying. Beryl continually says "Be quiet", in her best Mrs Bucket voice. I of course ignore her.

This barking carries on 24 hours. It's not a part time thing - I must be as annoying as possible!

Some time during the day

I go out for a walk. Normally over the cemetary. If there's a funeral going on and I'm with Beryl, we stand and watch for ages. If I'm with Leanne(they call me her brother - sheash!)we have a brisk walk, no stopping. But, with Beryl I get to roll in other dogs crap. She thinks I've found a clean patch of grass that's taken my interest - wrong! It's sweet smelling crap. The kind I like, and yes, it annoys the hell out of them.

Also while on the walk I crap too, generally 3 times. First one is good and solid. Second is looser. The third is liquid, and runs down the cheeks of my butt. Now for the good bit. When we get home they have to wipe my butt clean. A cracking annoyance.

17:00

Round 2 with the papers. Yep, same thing. I tremble like an idiot on top of a washing machine waiting for the drop. They drop and I battle it out with someone to get them first.

17:10 ish

They come home from work. They great me and I at least look happy about it. But really, all I want is what they have brought with them, which is normally nothing!

More sleep.

Some time in the evening

Darren takes me out. He's a moody git. Sometimes it's a long walk. Sometimes a trip around the block. 99 times out of a 100 he'll buy a couple of cans of beer while we're out. And yes, another walk means more crapping. More crapping means more arse wiping. More annoyance.

Bed time

As we know, I don't do stairs. So one of them has to carry me up. Annoyance.

03:00 ish

I wake up a little chilly, make enough noise to wake Darren up. He knows I want to get up on the bed. I know he's gonna tell me to shut the %$^& up and lay down. I grin to myself, lay down and sleep.

04:00 ish

I wake up a little chilly, make enough noise to wake Darren up. He knows I want to get up on the bed. I know he's gonna tell me to shut the BEEP up and lay down you BEEP. I grin to myself, lay down and sleep.

05:00 ish

I wake up a little chilly. Now I no he's weakened enough to let me on the bed. And I know he's gonna tell me to shut the BEEP up and lay down you BEEP. I don't. He lifts me on the bed. Annoyance.

06:30

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